These Advice given by My Dad That Helped Us when I became a Brand-New Father

"In my view I was just in survival mode for the first year."

Former Made In Chelsea personality Ryan Libbey thought he would to cope with the difficulties of being a father.

However the reality soon turned out to be "utterly different" to his expectations.

Serious health complications during the birth caused his partner Louise being hospitalised. Suddenly he was thrust into becoming her primary caregiver as well as taking care of their infant son Leo.

"I took on every night time, each diaper… each outing. The job of both mum and dad," Ryan stated.

Following 11 months he burnt out. It was a chat with his parent, on a park bench, that made him realise he couldn't do it alone.

The direct phrases "You're not in a healthy space. You need some help. What can I do to assist you?" paved the way for Ryan to talk openly, seek support and find a way back.

His experience is commonplace, but infrequently talked about. While society is now better used to talking about the strain on mothers and about postpartum depression, less is said about the difficulties fathers go through.

'It's not weak to request support'

Ryan feels his challenges are symptomatic of a broader inability to open up between men, who still absorb negative ideas of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, often feel they must be "the fortress that just gets smashed and remains standing time and again."

"It isn't a show of weakness to request help. I was too slow to do that soon enough," he explains.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a expert specialising in mental health surrounding childbirth, says men can be reluctant to acknowledge they're struggling.

They can feel they are "not the right person to be asking for help" - particularly ahead of a new mother and infant - but she highlights their mental state is vitally important to the unit.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad gave him the opportunity to take a pause - spending a couple of days abroad, away from the family home, to see things clearly.

He realised he needed to make a shift to focus on his and his partner's emotional states alongside the logistical chores of caring for a newborn.

When he opened up to Louise, he realised he'd missed "what she longed for" -holding her hand and hearing her out.

Reparenting yourself'

That epiphany has changed how Ryan views parenthood.

He's now penning Leo letters each week about his experiences as a dad, which he hopes his son will look at as he grows up.

Ryan thinks these will help his son to more fully comprehend the language of emotion and interpret his approach to fatherhood.

The notion of "reparenting" is something musician Professor Green - whose name is Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four.

During his childhood Stephen was without consistent male guidance. Despite having an "incredible" bond with his dad, long-standing emotional pain caused his father found it hard to cope and was "coming and going" of his life, complicating their connection.

Stephen says suppressing emotions caused him to make "bad actions" when in his youth to alter how he was feeling, finding solace in substance use as an escape from the anguish.

"You find your way to things that aren't helpful," he notes. "They can short-term modify how you are feeling, but they will in the end exacerbate the problem."

Strategies for Getting By as a New Father

• Talk to someone - when you are under pressure, tell a trusted person, your other half or a professional about your state of mind. Doing so may to ease the pressure and make you feel less isolated.
• Keep up your interests - keep doing the pursuits that made you feel like the person you were before having a baby. Examples include going for a run, meeting up with mates or gaming.
• Look after the physical stuff - a good diet, getting some exercise and where possible, resting, all are important in how your mental state is coping.
• Meet other first-time fathers - sharing their journeys, the difficult parts, as well as the joys, can help to normalise how you're feeling.
• Know that seeking help isn't failing - taking care of you is the best way you can look after your household.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen expectedly found it hard to accept the death, having not spoken to him for many years.

As a dad now, Stephen's committed not to "continue the chain" with his own son and instead offer the stability and nurturing he missed out on.

When his son is about to have a meltdown, for example, they try "releasing the emotion" together - processing the emotions in a healthy way.

Each of Ryan and Stephen state they have become better, healthier men because they faced their pain, transformed how they communicate, and figured out how to regulate themselves for their sons.

"I have improved at… dealing with things and dealing with things," explains Stephen.

"I wrote that in a note to Leo last week," Ryan adds. "I said, sometimes I think my job is to guide and direct you how to behave, but actually, it's a dialogue. I'm learning as much as you are on this path."